Saturday, February 20, 2010

about me

So, I'm pretty new to the whole blogger thing.. I have been blogging for 3 weeks about my quest for weight loss @ I am 27 almost 28 in 27 days! E and I have been married 5 years yesterday. :) I am so blessed and lucky to have found him. He's my perfect match!. We have never used any kind of birth control, partly b/c of our Catholic faith, and here we are 5 years later, no baby in sight. Never any miscarages. Nothing. I've had a few meltdowns over the years, but I know that God has a plan for us, and we just have to wait for the future.

E has a son, G, who is 8 & 1/2. He's amazing. We had a tough time at first, but G and I have become very close. His mother moved him accross the country though a year and a half ago. It was mutual from all of us, that this was the right thing for G. The schools are better and my family is only 2 hours away from where they moved. We plan on moving closer if the housing market ever picks up! We are trying to get a loan mod so we can rent our home and move outta here.
Sometimes I get so upset that E and I will never be able to share this amazing gift of having a child together. He understands my pain, and the infertility effects him to a point, but I feel that since he already knows what it is to have a child who loves you and can't wait to see you, who jumps from the car to hug you and can't wait to tell you everything, that he doesn't fully understand. This is the hardest part for me I think. Just knowing that he has this experience, and I might never be able to.

I was on Clomid for a few months last year, but nothing happend. My Dr. went to a new office that doesn't take my insurance, so I have been trying to find a new one. Last week I found the most amazing Dr.! She is fantastic! She realy took the time to listen to me and ask lots of questions. I am getting blood work done on Monday, I am also getting an ultrasound of my thyroid, and my pelvic area. My thyroid is swollen, and that may or may not be why I can't lose weight and can't get pregnant. I am going to have a pap test done in the next few weeks also. Hopefully we can figure out what is going on, and hopefully it is nothing to major!

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