This week I have recieved a few private emails about the infertility post that I had on my FB. An old highschool friend was very supportive. Here is what she said: I feel like a complete jack ass! I had no clue you were infertile. I guess that isn't something you want to broadcast. I bet your husband sons is a blessing for you. Love ya girl and stay strong!
She has 2 kids, and had asked me at one time if we were trying or something like that. It wasn't anything that I would have gotten upset about though. But she had a great point. Gabe is a blessing! It's just hard to remember that sometimes. He doesn't live with us anymore, since his mom moved out of state. We only get to see him twice a year. We visit for Christmas, we pick up Gabe and stay at my mom's house for a week. Then Gabe stays with us for the entire summer. When he is with us, I am a mom. kindof. I take care of him, I make sure he says his prayers and gets to Church, I take him to play-dates, and make his favorite foods. We talk for hours and have lots of fun. I love it when he's with us. We really feel like a family. A complete family.
But when Gabe is gone, its like I am nothing. When he calls, he wants to talk to Daddy, not me. He misses his Daddy, not me. Sometimes he wants to tell me things, and talks to me for a while, but he can't say that he loves me when his mom is around. He doesn't talk to me that much when she is around. It sucks.
So, I am a part time mom. I love it. I hate it. But my friend is right. I am blessed to have Gabe in my life. Even if he isn't mine, I still get to be a mom, even if just for a little bit.