I'm depressed, I'm sad, I want to cry, is AF coming soon? NO!!! WTH???? I have no idea what is wrong with me. All day I've just felt this sadness. UGh! go away hormones!! Usually I don't post these depressing posts mid-month. But today, I just felt that I need to write it out!
I've been feeling lately that I am never going to get pg. Ever. I'm getting older and older, and nothing has changed! I know there are still things that we haven't tried to help us achieve a pregnancy, but I wonder about that. How long do we try? How many different options do we do? And right now I don't have insurance! And if we end up moving soon, I still won't have insurance for who knows how long! I can go to my primary care doc, but she wants me to go to a obgyn, who is more knowledgeable than she. Which I completely understand, but I don't want to go to a different doc and have to tell the same story to, and get more blood work done! This just plain sucks!! E still talks about when we have a baby, and our kids, it's heartbreaking for me, b/c I feel that I just know that it will never happen. But I smile and pretend that it will all work out. That it just isn't time yet. But inside I'm dying. I just wish I knew either way what was going to happen.
Also I'm a little sad that we still haven't moved! I am missing everything! My baby sister just graduated high school, and she is off to Spain for 2 weeks! She grew up so freakin fast! It feels like she was just a little baby! Then she is off to college in the fall, and now she'll be a grown up and I'll never get to see her!
My other little sister is on her 3rd baby, and I've missed all 3 pregnancy's! I know I made this choice to move, and I never would have met my amazing hubby, but sometimes I hate that I moved away from my family.
Sorry for the depressing post. Tomorrow is Friday, so hopefully it will be so much better!