I'll start with the weigh in.. Another lb!! So 2 lbs in two weeks, not so bad I think :) The closing on our house is set for Wednesday (tomorrow) We already went furniture shopping and have almost everything we need except beds, and we need beds! lol But it's hard to find a bed we like, and at a good price.. So we may be sleeping on the couch for a while. ;)
That my friends is the only good news I have. I finally went to the Dr yesterday. He follows the Creighton and is a family practitioner, but has a special intrest in women with pcos and endometriosis. So I show up with my charts, and I have the initial lab results from when I was diagnosed with pcos. He checks out everything, and said that the lab results don't really show anything substantial, and doesn't describe the cysts or follicles in a way that would be helpful. ok. But I am looking at the lab results now and it says "Normal size Uterus. Endometrial strip is not thickened. Normal sized ovaries. Right ovary 3.5cm. Left ovary 3.2cm. All follicles within the ovaries, simple largest on the right appears to be approximately 12mm. " and other crap, but doesn't that say the sizes?? I don't understand that.
Then Dr M tells me that he is not convinced that I do have pcos. He says that I don't have unusual cycles, they are not extremely long, I don't ever miss any periods. He said I don't show any tell tale signs of pcos. Acne, unusual hair on my face, I'm not too overweight. That's where I stopped him, I had to tell him that I have hair on other parts that as a woman I shouldn't (tmi sorry!) I have had really bad acne as an adult that I had to take medication for, and now I can control the acne with my diet, and I suddenly gained allot of weight when I was 20. I explained my diet and excersize, and told him that I work really hard to not be too overweight. Dr. M looked a little shocked, then said that I may have some symptoms of pcos, but I also have a lot of symptoms of endo. OMG.. I do have painful periods, it does hurt during sex when I'm close to having my period, but no other time.
Dr M then tells me that I'm 28 and E and I need to make a plan on how long we plan on trying medical intervention, before we move on to other options.( Is he saying that I'm old?? ) He said that he wants to do a Hormone Testing. So I have to get my blood drawn every other day starting today untill I'm P+12. I am only on day 10. Yikes. He is checking my Progesterone, and Estradiol.
I am glad that this dr follows the Creighton Model, and that he is Catholic. I'm a little excited to find out about my hormones, but at the same time I'm freaked out. What is going on with my body? Do I have pcos? Do I have Endo? I have always thought I had pcos even before I was diagnosed. Years ago I saw an article in a magazine about pcos, and reading the symptoms I just knew that was what I had. So now do I have 2 major things wrong with me? Well I guess 3 because of my thyroid. I am getting that checked today also. But when I left the dr's office, I just wanted to cry. And I did. I had been so excited to finally get to a Dr who would treat my pcos and then something magical would happen and we would end up pregnant! I mean we just bought a house that is big enough to have a little family! I know I shouldn't of gotten excited when we bought the house, but I just couldn't help it. Both E and I said it's a perfect house for a family, with 3 bedrooms we can have 2 or 3 kids or maybe 4? I was getting my hopes up again, and getting excited. I could just feel that I was going to get pg soon! But now I feel like any hope that I had is gone. I am getting older and older, and we are just now getting started on finding out what is really wrong, and trying to treat my problems. How long am I supposed to try? How do I know when it's to late and have to give up? Ugh! Life sucks sometimes.. E said that I just have to follow my own advice that I give to him.. and that is to trust God. God has a plan for us and I have to trust that plan because it is what HE wants for us. But is it wrong that I'm not liking His plan right now?
I'm trying to trust. But it is really hard..