Friday, October 19, 2012

Update

Thanks for the prayers. Gemma is great!
So, I was up all night before the MRI and luckily Gemma woke up on her own at 4am so I was able to nurse her before the cut off time. Then I was worried about getting her the pedialyte before 6:30 am, because she won't take a bottle. I kept trying to get Gemma to take the bottle and she flat out refused to take it! She would make the worst face when I would put the nipple in her mouth, if I wasn't worried about her getting enough to eat before the MRI it would have been funny. So I decided to try something else and put it in a cup and she drank it up! A lot of it went down her chin, but she drank enough to keep her hydrated. That was the first time she drank out of a cup!
    We got to the hospital right on time 8:30am. The nurses took her vitals and then we were told that she would not be getting general anesthesia, they would give her an oral form mixed in a cherry syrup that they give in a syringe. They had to squirt it in her cheeks, and I think she thought it was candy bc she had no problem swallowing that up. :). I can't tell you how relieved we were that they did not have to give her an iv. We were just not ready for that again. The only reaction she had to the drug, was that it made her very cranky right before she went to sleep. That was hard to see bc it really made her upset. She was screaming and crying and shaking for a few minutes, and then went to sleep. I got to stay with her during the MRI.
  When she woke up we were told she might be very cranky and feel woozy ect. But she woke up, ate and was in the best mood she had been in in a long time! She was cooing and smiling at everyone. It was such a relief to see her like that and not all upset like the last time.

 So now we get to the nurosurgeon. He walk in and says, there is nothing wrong with your child! Omg thanks be to God! There is a slight malformation of her spine, the base is blunt instead of elongated. If it were going to be a concern it would have already presented itself in the way her legs are shaped and in the strength of them. He checked her all over said nothing was out of place, we have nothing to worry about, and this will not cause any problems later in life.  The only thing we have to do next is see the urologist when she is a year old, besides continuing updates with her surgeon. That is to check to make sure we won't have any problems with potty training. That is another worry for another time. For now we are just so thankfull that her spine is not tetherd or any other issues.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Prayers for Gemma

Hey everyone, just asking for some prayers for tomorrow for Gemma. We have an MRI scheduled for tomorrow morning. It's a routine MRI for kids born with imperforate anus, usually around their 6 month. Gemma has the so called "easiest" form of IA, so there is only a 30% chance that something else could be wrong. She has already had all of her major organs checked and all came back normal. This is the last test. They are checking for a tetherd spinal cord. So far we haven't noticed any symptoms, and in fact Gemma is doing amazing, so we are pretty confident that nothing is wrong.  
    This is not as major as her surgery of course, but she does have to be sedated. That is scary. I have to stop nursing her at 4:30 am so I am sooo hoping that she wakes up on her own so I don't have to wake her up.  Imagine wanting your baby to wake you up at 4:30am!! Lol but I'm scared how she is going to react not being able to nurse. It not only feeds her, but it comforts her too. She's not going to understand what's going on. We can give her clear liquids until 6:30am. But she won't take a bottle since I've been home! So this will be interesting.
   I'm scared of how  she will react to all the strangers and watching them put her under sedation. She won't know what's happening or why. It's just bringing back all the concerns and memories of her surgery. It was horrible. She was in so much pain, it was horrible. I can't go through that again.

So please pray that there are no adverse reactions to the sedation and the MRI comes back normal.

Monday, September 24, 2012

New life

We have had a busy week around here. We just welcomed two new babies to our ever growing family. My older sister D had a boy "Liam Blaise" on Wed and on Friday my little sister L welcomed her first boy (they have 3 girls) "Jackson Christopher".  They are the cutest little boys ever!!! I am just so excited!! This makes a total of 27 nieces and nephews! These kids are so lucky to have such a big family. We only had 2 first cousins growing up, and we really don't know them that well. I was always a little jealous of my other cousins who had a lot of first cousins because of how close they all were. Again this is just another reason why I am so glad we moved back to my hometown. Gemma will have lots of cousins to play with :) life is so good, praise God for the gift of life:)

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Perfect Saturday Morning

This is what makes the weekends special, my morning cup of Yohan! If you havn't seen the commercial, you have to look it up! I might post it when I have more time.... :)



Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Random Gemma Stuff

1. Gemma is a hoot! She giggles all the time, and especially when you play peek a boo! Her laugh is contagious! Once she starts laughing, I laugh, and that makes her laugh even more, which makes me laugh more! So yeah, we have a lot of fun some times! :)

2. She can roll, kinda. Gemma can roll from her belly to her back, and only on her right side. Almost always as soon as we put her down for "tummy time" she flips her right arm back and under her  belly and flips over! She always looks a little scared at first, then smiles real big. One time we found her on her left side up against her crib snoring away! It was adorable, and I cried b/c she went the other way!

3. Gemma doesn't always take naps. That drives me crazy! mostly because it makes her cranky. I nurse her, and rock her to sleep, and as soon as I stand up to put her in her crib, she wakes up and smiles at me. Well, of course then I can't be mad that she won't nap, but 5 min later she is crying and fussing! Some days it's a never ending cycle...

4. She puts her arms up when she wants me to pick her up. :) This one makes me melt! E has been working with her for a few months, when he goes to pick her up he will hold out his hands and tell her to give him hers. So just the past few days, when she is ready to be picked up she will hold out her arms and look at you like "come on people, pick me up!" And of course we do! And today while E was holding her, she looked at me and reached out to grab me! :) I love that girl :)

5. I may be spoiling her! And you know what? I don't care. Of course, I will dicipline her when the time is right, but I hold and kiss her all the time!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Where We Sit



When we are at Mass, we always sit in the same pew. Every Sunday. Our seats are not as pretty as those in the picture, but are much more comfortable! I may have mentioned before about our Church, it was made out of a pole barn that was donated from a family in our community. They donated several acres of land, on which sits our Church, Rectory, Resource Center, and Community Center. We have trails, and a lake to fish, and a campground. So as you may be able to tell, its a country church! :) Our seats are comfy plush chairs, each pew has several chairs linked together and a kneeler on the back of the chairs.
     For some reason, it is always important that we sit in the same pew each week, and it is very upsetting if someone sits in our spot! Sometimes Mass will be packed and if we don't get there early enough we lose our seats. Usually one of my family members will get there early and save the row for us all. Luckily we are women who have purses, and diaper bags to spread around the seats!
   This is the best part, our whole family (that attends this particular church) can fit into the entire row. Most people know us and know that is where we sit. The ushers know who we are and call us "The Family" like were the Mob or something. lol.  In our row sits my parents, my step-brother and his son, my sister and her husband and there 3 almost 4 kids, me and E and Gabe and Gemma. Sometimes when they are not in school, my little brother and sister too.
  As our family grows, though, we will no longer all be able to sit in the same row together, the babies are getting bigger and when they can't sit on laps anymore, will need a seat of their own. It's very sad for me. Especially since I lived away for 7 years, I've missed so much of my family growing up. I love that I have this opportunity now to claim our own row in church, to pray together with my family, to be a role model for my nieces and nephews, to just be together as a family. It's amazing.
  And so what if we save an entire row of seats every Sunday? My family is big, and we have lots of love. We may not always be able to see each other during the week, but Sunday is it. We claim our row at Mass. I will be sad when we have to split up, but for now we are "The Family" that sits and prays together, and I wouldn't have it any other way :)

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Not complaining

Sorry about that last post. Sometimes you just need to vent ya know? Prayers would be appreciated for my family, just so we can learn to deal with this person who for some reason likes to start trouble where there is none.
  I thought about getting rid of fb, but I have a few support groups that I'm on for Gemmas IA. And I have a lot of family and friends who live far away, and unfortunately this is the main way we communicate. Sometimes I wonder how we ever lived without fb! Or cell phones. I'm on mine right now. It's amazing how dependent we are on electronics. Sometimes I wish we could just get rid of it all, but then I remember that I have no sense of direction and of course I need gps!! :) but who knows, if the Myans are right fb won't really matter now will it? ;)

Friday, August 31, 2012

Love Thy Neighbor

Really?! I hate that commandment. Its so not practical. How are we to love someone who is just a thorn in our lives? I don't know how to do it. There is someone who I wish were not in my life, but I can't do anything about it. I'm being stalked on fb and can't delete this person because it would cause a major upheaval in our lives. I feel like i can't live my life! I'm so upset that this person is in my life. But I can't get rid of them. I have to learn how to love. But could someone please tell me how? This commandment sucks.. Just sayin.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Teething!!

Oh boy, we've had one beastly moment after another around here! Poor Gemma. She is teething and it's not going well. First we had to deal with her crying all the time because it hurt her to poo before her surgery. Now her teeth hurt and she is not happy! Naps are not happening around here this week. We went to the park a few times to meet up with friends and both times we had to leave early because of Gemma crying out in pain. She won't sleep during the day, and it's making her act even worse because she's over tired too. She has been sleeping all night except to nurse once, for almost 2 months now. But this week she has been getting up twice during the night to nurse. Gemma is drooling like crazy! If she weren't mine I'd think it was gross :) nothing we have tried is helping her that much. She doesn't like those hard teethers and she will chew/suck on a cold rag for a while but cries after a few min. I don't know what to do to help her! Do any of you have any tips? I'll try almost anything at this point. I don't know how long this is going to last either. Her bottom gums are a little white but it doesn't look like a tooth is going to pop in for a while. How long is this process??

Monday, August 13, 2012

Favorite Nursing Products

First of all let me say that I have been reading all the blogs, but mostly from my phone, and I cannot for the life of me figure out how to post a comment! I can write a comment, but then there is no button for me to post it! Very frusterating, hoping to have a new phone and new service very soon! Anywho, I LOVE nursing Gemma, so I thought I would share some of my favorite products and want to know if any of you have any different products that you can't live without!
   The very first thing that I used for nursing was the Boppy, I hated it! We got a "free" one from the NICU and Gemma could never stay on it, and rolled into the space between me and the boppy, very frusterating and hard for her to nurse effectively. My sister had given me her MY BREASTFRIEND nursing pillow, and I thought it looked so wierd and that I could never use that, but it quickly became my go to pillow!
This pillow is nice and flat and firm! That was a huge thing for me, especially b/c I was new at this, I needed a pillow that really helped me to hold Gemma in the right way. I really liked how it also goes behind your back to help give you support where you need it, so you don't need tons of other pillows to support your back.
     The second item that has saved me time and time again is the UDDER COVER! lol I love the name. I had no idea how to nurse without having my entire breast exposed at the begining, that if I had to nurse Gemma somewhere it wasn't a huge ordeal. And now it helps keep Gemma focused on eating instead of what is going on around her.
The third and most amazing item that I have purchased is the SKINIES nursing Tank. AMAZING!!! I can nurse anywhere anytime and not be worried about what kind of top I'm wearing. This tank goes under any shirt and lays flat over my bra. It also helps slim down my belly! I dont' always need the udder cover, especially when I'm just with family. This tank has the holes cut out so all you have to do is reach under and undo your bra! It hides your belly and really you can't tell that I'm nursing when I am wearing it.



I would be very interested to know if anyof you have tried any of these products or have anyothers that you just love!!                                                                                                                                 

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Four Months

So, who do you think she looks like? lol

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Decision Made

So I finally came to a decision... I am going to be a stay at home mamma!!! I made it harder than it needed to be. I dont do well with change first of all and I hate feeling like Im letting people down. Im not going to apologize for feeling like I needed a break. For me after all we went through I think I deserved some time of my own. At least for my own sanity. I first felt that I should stay working because I felt that in this economy I am lucky to have a job and I didnt want to squander an opportunity that the Lord gave me.. but he also gave me Gemma! Then I really had needed some me time. I really did. I cant describe how bad off I was emotionally. I mean as soon as Gemma was born she was taken from me and I wasnt able to be with her for the first day of her life! I also had my own recovery to deal with. It was not easy for me at all. I believe I had a mild case of post partum. It lasted for the first 8 weeks. I didnt feel anything after I gave birth. And then I couldnt even bond with Gemma for 3 days. I didnt have time to recover physically either. And then when I should have been getting back to normall hormone wise Gemma had her surgery. So I had another week of emotional issues. So that is my story. I had to take it all and think about what the Lord put in my path. He gave me Gemma to take care of and He gave me just enough time to get myself back so I can take care of her the way I need to. I am very excited to stay home. :) Im glad I got the time to go back to work and now I can just focus on my baby. This is how its suppose to be for us. God gives us all a different path to take and this is mine. I pray for the grace to be the person He wants me to be :) Oh I am posting this from my phone so Im sorry abot the punctuation and spelling!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

St Anne and St Joachim

I've been doing a Novena this past week and this was the prayer for today, I thought I should share :)



Thursday, July 26
, St. Joachim and St. Anne

For all those who bear the cross of infertility

Lord, God, thank you for the gift of life and for the gift of children. This very day we ask you for a special blessing and healing upon all those couples who so desire the gift of a child and wait patiently for Your timing. Grant them the supernatural gifts of hope, trust and patience in Your Divine Providence. Guide all who labor and research to help infertile couples to your Divine Wisdom and to follow the natural law and moral order that you have established. Give all who struggle with this pain complete resignation to Your Divine Will. Bless and strengthen those families who have adopted a child or who serve as foster parents. Help all couples who struggle with infertility to remain chaste and pure. And grant them the grace to drink joyfully from this bitter cup, offering up their pain and agony for the salvation of souls. Dear St. Joachim and St. Anne, you, too, knew the sorrow of being childless. Intercede for these couples that God, too, inHis perfect time and way may grant to them the precious and eternal gift of a child. Holy Spirit breathe the fire of your love into the hearts, minds and souls of all couples who yearn for a child that they may be forever blessed with such a precious gift, done all in accord with Your Most Holy Will. Amen.

One Our Father, One Hail Mary, One Glory Be.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Working Mama?

I always thought that I would be a stay at home mom. How much fun to stay home to just take care of your little one, and do awesome things like going to the park,zoo, bookstore,coffee shop, hairdresser? Those were my big dreams :) I know kinda silly, but I have been so excited to do all of those things with my baby. The problem is, Gemma is a BABY!!! lol she can't do any of those things yet! She is also a very demanding baby. She yells a lot when she's tired or your not paying enough attention to her, or she's hungry or mad, or pretty much all the time. No it's not colic. We thought maybe it was at first, but according to our pediatrition she's happy to often for it to have been colic. But that's way off topic here... sorry, it's late and this is the only time I have to get on the computer! (Besides FB where my I can just "like" everything and post pics from my phone)
     I had planned on staying home with Gemma. But life is funny like that and changes things on ya. We weren't doing well financially with E being in this new job he is only in training till Aug, and get's not nearly as much pay as he will get once he's out of the training. So.... me taking off work for maternity leave really put us behind. I had originally decided to take 8 weeks and see how we did financially and if we were ok, I would stay home. But with Gemma's surgury and her after care, I ended up taking 11 weeks. And I had to go back. We crunched numbers and got rid of anything that we could of, but still we needed me to go back to work.
Now I only work part time at this job, so I'm not bringing in much $ but enough to pay for grocery's at least. My first day back to work, I almost didn't make it. I was so nervous about leaving Gemma and was wondering how she was all day. It was terrible. I cried! But of course Gemma was ok. My sister is watching her, so I was comfortable with the idea of a family member watching her. But still.... it was hard. But as the weeks have gone by, I've really enjoyed getting out of the house, and relaxing at work 2 days a week! Really I can relax at work! lol No I don't have a super relaxing job, but not having a baby attached to you all day once in a while is kinda nice. Is that horrible of me to think that? I get 8 hours twice a week to be me. I can listen to loud music in the car, I can have a quiet car ride if I want to! It's just kinda nice.
    But, the second day that I'm at work, I'm ready to go back home. It's to much being away from Gemma for all that time. Even though I enjoy my me time, I need to be with her. I also enjoy being able to bring in a little of my own money. I am not at all a feminist in the least, but being able to say that I can buy my own things with my own money is so empowering. And I hate that word! lol But it is! I never realised it untill now, when I'm not brining in much at all. I've always worked, and untill this job, I've always worked full time.
      So here is my dilema. My sister is watching Gemma. She is in college, and has the summer off. She is going back to school next month and is not sure if she can continue watching Gemma or not. I have the option at work to cut my hours even more if I want to. I also have the option of staying home, b/c E will be making more $ by then. E wants me to stay home with Gemma. I want to stay home, but I also feel that my emotional health is requiring me to work at least one half day! But of course what a waste of gass money that would be. I could spend that money on a Caramel Mocha instead!
     So I'm not sure if I want to find someone to watch Gemma so I can still work, or if I'm just going to stay home with her and hopefully get out of the house sometimes. Are any of you with babies still working? what do you all think about this? I think I know what I'm going to do, but I hate making such a decision.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Baby Gemma Pics :)

Here is Gemma the day after she was born :)
Gemma at 3 weeks, we had some pictures done.
This is me and Gemma on Mothers Day while she was in the hospital after her surgery.
And here is Gemma and her "boys" at 3 months :) She just has them wrapped around her little fingers!

Friday, July 13, 2012

Yes I did have my baby!

Wellllll... lot's have changed around here, not sure about this new blog look that's going on. Of course not sure how long ago it changed b/c I havn't been on here in a very very long time. But for those of you that are still interested, I did have my baby girl! lol She was born 2 weeks early on April 2nd. The laast few weeks of my pregnancy were really hard on me. Actually the entire pregnancy was hard on me. I was just wiped out the entire time! My stomach was huge! That's really the main place that I gained weight, my amniotic fluid was at the high end but not dangerous. I had gotten to the point where I could no longer drive b/c it hurt to sit in the car, btw we had a lovely little sports car that we had to get rid of, so sad, but worth it :) Sunday April 1'st I couldn't even get up to go to Mass, I just felt horrible. That night my sister made me come over to her house for dinner b/c E was out of town for work, her husband made a delicious chicken that I could barely eat. We joke that it was the chicken that made me go into labor~ ! lol I went home after, I realized there was something dripping down my leg. I thought I peed myself untill I looked down and saw blood. I started at that point to freak out!! I still hadn't realized what was going on, but knew that blood was one of those things the Dr's told me to call them for. Then I reached to gather my nightgown and realized it was soaking wet. I was pretty sure my water had broke, but never having had this happen before, I wasn't positive. I was crying and freaking out, b/c I was alone first of all, and second I didn't have anything ready! I changed my clothes and text my sister who lives down the street to call me asap. I tried to remember everything I read about what to put in your hospital bag and shoved everything in! I was going to get everything ready that week b/c I still had 2 more weeks! My sister called me back said to call the hospital and she would be right over.. I was kinda still thinking "what if this is a false alarm?" you know you see that all the time in the movies. So I called the hospital, they wanted to know who my primary doc was and would have the doc on call, call me. Well, I'm waiting for my phone to ring, I'm crying and txt E that I was going to the hospital b/c my water broke. Then the Doc calls me, and I wasn't sure what was going on, but I couldn't hear him at all! I thought my phone was messed up but finally was able to hear him. It just happend to be my doc! thank goodness, I said Doc it's me my water broke! he say's "who is this?" omg, I have to repeat myself 3 times, and finally he says oh, ok well get to the hospital. wow. I find out later that he was sleeping at that time and the nurses said he is always out of it like that when he gets those calls. He also later apologized for being so groggy. My sister gets me to the hospital, my husband calls me and tells me he is on his way. I'm not feeling anything but the water drip down my legs. Let me tell you something, having your water break is GROSS!!!! really it is. How come no one tells you things like that? Actually the entire time I was in the hospital I felt gross. I wasn't having contractions, so they put me on the pitosin (which I did not want to have, but felt forced into) and I held out as long as I could to get the epi. I was a crying mess once the contractions started gaining force. But E got there and was amazing with me. He let me do what I needed to get threw the pain, and prayed with me and held my hand the entire time. So at 6:32 pm my little Gemma was born! We did have some problems right away though. Gemma was born with an imperforate anus, and the hospital we were at wasn't prepped for this kind of thing, so they imediatley took her away from me and had her transported to the local children's hospital. Neither E or I could go with her that night, and were told that she wouldn't be seen untill the morning, so there was nothing we could do. They just wanted her put on IV's right away b/c if she didn't have the hole to poo out of I couldn't feed her. What we found out was that her body did compensate for the anus not forming, by creating a fistula right above her anus so she could go poo. She was in the hospital for 3 days. I wasn't alowed to leave my hospital untill 9am the morning after I had her. Let me tell you how awefull it is to be going through all this emotional crap, and not having a moment to rest and realax after the ordeal of giving birth! I was on pain meds b/c I had a tear, and my hormones were just out of controll. I couldn't hold my baby and wasn't sure at first what the heck was going on. Luckily Gemma had a "mild" version of this malformation, so it could have been a lot worse. When she was 5 weeks old Gemma had surgury to recreate her anus. She had the muscles and her intenstines were in the right place, so the surgury went quickly and easily. Well, easily for the surgeons. That was an ordeal that I wouldn't wish upon anyone. Gemma wasn't alowed to eat from noon the day before her surgury untill 5 days after! The day before after I fed her the last time, they put her on an IV that basically was a laxitive, b/c she needed to be completely cleaned out for the surgery. She cried and cried untill she couldn't cry anymore. She was dehydrated and so sad, I couldn't stop crying myself. For the next 5 days we lived at the hospital. She was put on fluids and then they added fats to her IV's so she didn't lose any weight. It was the worst week of my life. my poor little baby had to go through so much in her short little life. But she is now healed up completely and we just have to keep making sure that the hole doesn't scar over, and as long as she is pooping every day, we don't have to worry about anything. Gemma is now a happy little 3 month old, who is smiling and laughing almost all the time. Except when she has gas or is tired! lol So. that's my story. I'm trying to get back on here, but some day's it's hard to even check FB! I'm slowly getting caught up on everyone's blogs, sorry I've been away...

Friday, March 16, 2012

What's In A Name?

So here I am almost 36 weeks now, I'm tired, I can't breath, I can't sleep for having to pee all night long, and I'm ready to see this baby of mine!
E is on his way home first thing tomorrow morning, I can't wait to just have him back home already!

We have a name picked out for our litle girl. It's a special name for us, and I think that it's an interesting story of how we came accross it. Other people might not think it's so exciting, but I do! lol
Here goes: I have heard this name before, but never really put much thought into it. It was pretty, but I was just positive that I would always name my daughter Gianna. Of course, after St. Gianna, what IFer wouldn't use that name? duh!
But one night I had a dream. It was so vivid and this name just kept being repeated over and over in my head. I told E about the name and he thought it was a great name. I said that I think that's going to be her name. The next day I spoke to my mother and told her what name I had picked out, and that E loved it too.
My mom told me then that there was a saint with that name and my niece (who is also my goddaughter) had just done a book report on her! WHAT!? I had never heard of a saint with that name, and I know a lot of saints! In fact I'm surprised how many people don't know very many saints. So this took me by surprise for sure. So I looked up this amazing saint. And what I found was just another reason that this name was special to us!

St Gemma Galgani (http://www.stgemmagalgani.com/) The name we are using is Gemma Rose.
As I read up on St Gemma, I found that she had at one time been very sick and almost died, but had done a novena to St Gabriel, and she was healed! OMG seriously, how freaky! We have a Gabe! That just sent chills down my spine. I loved the fact that she also had the stigmata, and was a very beautiful Italian girll. And of course we are also Italian!
I had E look her up and he was amazed at what he read also. The name just fit perfectly and all that happend with the dream and the information on her, was a sign for sure. My sister said that she believes God has a perfect name for all of us, and when God lets us in on what that name is we better listen! God wants that name for our baby, and that's what we are going to give her!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Me and Baby Pics






AND HERE SHE IS!!! :)

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Getting Caught Up

I'm a terrible blogger, I know it! Life just gets going and I don't feel like thinking sometimes, so I just get on fb and zone out! A lot has been happening so I'll give ya the run down.

1. E got a new job! YAY! It is a better paying job with great benefits. Downside to all that is that the hours aren't great, and he's been away for 4&1/2 weeks now for training. He had to go out of state for schooling for the new job, and it's a total of 6 weeks. The first few weeks were horrible for me. I cried every time we talked on the phone.(which thank goodness we were able to do every day) I can't wait for him to get back home.

2. E surprised me with a visit this past weekend! It was during the Friday tornado's that were so bad. That day I was at work, and I got really dizzy and weak feeling, so I was sent home. But I wasn't allowed to drive so my step-dad had to come pick me up. We knew there was a possibility of a tornado that day so I was actually relieved to not be at work during the storms. So I left my car at work,secretly hoping that my car would be ripped apart so we could then buy a new one! Is that bad that I thought that? Anyway I went to my parents house had lunch and took a nap, feeling much better a few hours later. I had called my Dr who said it sounded like I was dehydrated. Meanwhile, the weather was getting worse and worse. My sister had picked up her kids from school and b/c her husband was out of town for work that weekend, and she doesn't have a basement, she raced over to our parents house. At the same time, my brother who was in Indy for school had just been ahead of the storms got to the house. So there we all were watching the news just waiting for them to tell us to take cover. Then I get a text from E asking how things were going with the weather. I called him and told him what was going on, and that I was at my parents house. He then asked when I thought I would get back to our house. I said I hadn't planned on going back b/c I didn't have my car, and I was just going to stay there till the morning. He then told me that I needed to get home b/c he was there!! OMG I started crying and crying. I told him to get his butt over to my parents house asap! He couldn't b/c he didn't drive home, he rode with another guy who he was in school with who lived near us and left his truck at the hotel where he is staying. So I told everyone what was going on, and my step-dad said he would drive me home. The weather was getting really bad and as we were driving the sirens went off and I wasn't sure we were going to make it! Now I live about 10min from my parents and by the time we got to my house, the sirens were done and it stopped raining. So I ran into the house and where E was waiting for me! I have never been so glad to see him! :)
We went to the basement and watched the news, and then the sun came out. We just missed the storms, they went above us and right below us. It was a crazy day! But I was so happy that E made it home for the weekend. I needed that so bad. :)

3. The baby is doing great! She is now @ 5lbs and all her vitals look great, she is moving around all the time and the Dr is very pleased. :) Baby loves to push her butt up into my ribs and stretch my skin as far as it will go! It's getting harder to sleep at night, my belly is getting so big, and I have to pee all the time. Sometimes the baby has the hiccups and that keeps me up all night till she's done. I can't fit into my regular shoes anymore, so I had to go buy some slip on shoes that are a little big so they are not constricting my swelling feet.

4. I am swelling up all in my feet and legs! It's horrible. I hate it. It's worse on the day's that I work. I asked my Dr about taking off of work, but he said b/c I don't have high blood pressure, that he can't say that I have a medical reason for not working. Ugh! I just don't want to be at work anymore right now. I have lots to do around the house, and I hate that my legs hurt so bad when I get home. It sometimes makes me cry to see my legs and feet so huge, they look like elephant feet! I don't know if I'll make it much longer at work.

5. I'm 34 weeks!

6 I've got more belly photo's to share next time!

Friday, February 3, 2012

Reading & Eating

This week has been pretty busy, I've got lots of updates, but they will have to wait...
Just wanted to share a great book for any expecting mother.



Also my favorite snack right now is: Greek yogurt with berries! YUM!!


Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Dr update

Well, the Dr's went ok. Not much going on. The new Dr G. asked me a ton of questions and checked me out, and decided to run a whole new batch of blood tests on me. Awesome. So 4 vials of blood later, I'm still waiting to hear back the results. She is checking all the thyroid hormones, and my vit D and some other things, that I'm not sure of. One thing that I did find out was that I have carpel tunnel. How great is that? I work with money and computers and my hands keep cramping up so bad I feel like crying sometimes. At night my hands go numb, and that sucks. But apparently this will go away after the baby is born.
And speaking of baby, she should be fine! There is nothing for me to worry about with her, even though my numbers are low right now. Dr G said that the only reason to worry is if she wasn't moving around a lot, and wasn't growing properly, or if my blood pressure was high and I was having other complications. So that was a relief!! I was pretty worried about the thyroid effecting the growth of my baby, but so far so good. :)

Oh btw did anyone else catch the March for Life on EWTN? I was so mad that I couldn't go this year, I really wanted E to have that experience. But The coverage was great. :)

Thursday, January 19, 2012

My thyroid hates me...

I hate my thyroid, and my thyroid hates me! I had finally gotten the whole thyroid thingy under control right before I got pregnant. My numbers were great, I was just taking the Levothyroxin 75mcg. After a few months my OB checked my numbers and it was a little low, but nothing to be concerned about. It's normal for your thyroid to change when your pregnant, so no concerns. He changed my medication to 100mcg. Well, we had it checked again and now my numbers are very very low, to the point where my OB is concerned enough to send me to a specialist.
I was seeing a specialist in NV, but since we moved I was just seeing my regular Dr M. He's an idiot, so I didn't want to stay with him. My OB isn't concerned about the baby, but he doesn't know why my numbers are so low. My T4 is fine, but my T3 is low. He's just an OB so I'm not sure what this means and how much I should be worried. He told me to continue on the medication I'm on now and see what the specialist says.
I can't get in to see the specialist until Tuesday! I really don't want to wait that long. I've been doing a lot of reading on the subject of my thyroid and pregnancy, and it seems that everything should be ok for the baby. After 10 weeks the baby starts making her own thyroid hormones, but still relies on mine. It's normal for your thyroid to change, and from what I've read if you are supplementing your thyroid then even if it's not right on track the baby won't suffer. It's only a problem if you have an undiagnosed thyroid problem.
But still, I'm worried. Like I need anymore to worry about! ARGH!!! So, any prayers would be great that everything works out, and the baby is fine.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Pictures!

This is me in the hospital, the day we found out I was pregnant!


This is Thanksgiving, starting to show the chub! lol

And this is me today almost 27 weeks~ !

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Part II

Yeah, I'm not really good with titles! sorry :) (Warning ahead.. Happy moment)
So, after I spoke to S, the Creighton lady, I just couldn't wait to hear back from Dr M. I knew something was wrong, my body just wasn't working right! I didn't want to wait, so I went to the store and bought a test. My very first test. I was scared, and E was at work, so I was alone. I thought it best that I was, so if it came back negative E wouldn't have to know.
So I brought the test home, I pos, and after a few minutes 2 very very faint lines showed up. I wasn't sure what to feel, I could see 2 lines, but they weren't very bright, so I was afraid that I just was wishing them into existence. I studied that test for 5 min before I sent a picture of the test to my sister and asked what she thought. She of course freaked out and was so excited, but I was still very skeptical. She said that if I wanted to I could wait till the next morning to re-test b/c that is supposed to be the best time to take the test.
By this time, I am feeling so frustrated and scared and nurvouse! I didn't know what to do. I said F it! I'm going to re-test now! And sure enought the next test came back with 2 lines, still not super bright, but there was no mistaking it!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finally, finally, finally! I couldn't believe it! I was so happy, I sent the picture of the test to E right away! :) I had always had a plan in my mind how I would tell him, you know, a romatic dinner or something like that.. lol but I just couldn't keep it in! Never did I think that this could be possible. I was so positive that I would never ever have the chance to get pg, that I was still in shock.
I knew that I needed to call Dr M right away. He always said the moment I find out I'm pg I need to call him. So I did. Do you know what the first thing he said to me was?? "so, what your telling me, is that the period you had wasn't a true period?" Seriously?? what's up with this guy?
I said that well... since I came up with a positive test, I'm assuming that it wasn't a true period, b/c there is no way I'd get a positive test after 2 weeks! duh! Well Dr M wasn't super happy, he was concerned about the bleeding that I was having and that it was so much for so long. Then when I told him about the pain that I kept having, almost like period pains, but not quite, he started freaking out! He said that he was positive that I was having an ectopic pregnancy and that I needed to get to the ER imediatley! He told me that he almost had a patient die b/c they didn't get checked out soon enough. OMG!!!! What the heck was this guy talking about!? So my happy moment imediatley was gone, and I started sobbing. Why would this happen?
How could I go from being pregnant one moment and not knowing if it was real or going to last the next?
E was at work, I didn't think that I could get myself to the hospital at this point,b/c I was so worked up. I called my mom on her cell and I could hardly get out what was going on. She said to wait and she would be over to pick me up as soon as possible! I later found out that she was 30 min away at a store and she left her cart in the isle and sped the whole way to get me! (I love my mom) I sent a text to E telling him that I called Dr M and had to go to the hospital and my mom was taking me.
E called me right away and told me to wait, b/c he had left work early to come home to celebrate with me and was almost home.
I couldn't stop crying. Why was this happening to me? The one time I decide to finally test, and this happens.
So we get to the hospital, and the receptionist? nurse, was not very nice. I told her what was going on, that my Dr sent me there, and I needed an ultrasound right away. Well... heaven forbid someone comes in at 3:30 in the afternoon! The ultrasound tech's go home at 4 and she wasn't sure if they could get me in, but if it's an emergency maybe they could. Then she goes and checks that dumb chart telling me when my due date was!!! Wow, could you get anymore insensitive? I just told you that my Dr thinks I have an ectopic pregnancy and your going to tell me when my due date is?! My mom was po'd!
She almost told her off!
After waiting what seemed like forever, they finally got me in, and I had to go by myself first. The Dr came in and talked to me for a while and then decided that I was eligable for an ultrasound. I guess for an emergency ultrasound you have to be bleeding and in pain. Since I had both, I qualified. So I'm all by myself being wheeled up to the ultrasound room, I have no idea what they are going to find. I'm so scared, and praying the whole time. They do the ultrasound, and the tech shows me what's going on.
NOT an ectopic pregnancy! She showed me this tiny little bubble called a sac (I didn't know anything about this!) and that is where the baby is, it was in the right place and everything looked normal!
Wow, what a relief!! I started crying and they wheeled me back to my room. The nurse talked to me for a bit, and then brought in my mom and E. They both looked so pale and scared, and there I was sitting on the hospital bed with a huge grin on my face!! I told them that everything was perfect! I was still pregnant! E, who doesn't cry at all!, got all misty eyed and I have never seen him so happy! My mom of course started crying! I bet we were a sight to see! :)
The Dr came back in, and I had to get blood tests done, and she let me know that they were considering me at risk for a miscarriage. I needed to go to my OB in 2 days and I needed to come back to the hospital for another round of blood tests. They needed to check my hormone levels to make sure that the pregnancy was progressing.
So that was a relief! E and I spent the night celebrating this little miracle!
Well, I called Dr M the next day, and he was still skeptical! He said to come in right away so he could check my progesterone levels. So, more blood work done, and the next day I was on my way back to the hospital for even more bloodwork, and I get a call from Dr M.
"I'm sorry" he say's "your progesterone levels are just too low for you to still be pregnant. I'm sorry to tell you that I believe you have miscarried"
WHat?! So now I'm in the car driving to the hospital, sobbing my eyes out. Dr M said to still get the bloodwork done b/c if my pregnancy hormone levels were rising and my progesterone levels were so low, that could be very bad for me. So omg I'm freaking out. I called off work for the next few days b/c I just couldn't stop crying! How had I miscarried already? I just couldn't believe it.
When E got home from work, I told him what happened, and we both were so upset, but he said that at least we know now that I can get pregnant, and if we lost the baby, then we have at least one in Heaven watching over us. Well, that made me cry even more!
The next day I had to go to the OB. They had all my test results from the hospital and my pregancy hormones were rising. That freaked me out b/c of what Dr M had told me. Then the OB did an ultrasound and everything was fine! I was still pregnant! So I called Dr M and he said to come in right away for a shot of progesterone.
I don't know how many of you have had a shot of progesterone, but it hurts!! I couldn't sit on my right cheek for 2 whole day's! lol It was really aweful, and E kept making fun of me!
Well, that was on a Friday that I got the shot, and on Monday I woke up to blood everywhere. It looked like I had been murdered overnight. I started freaking out sobbing and crying, I called the OB and they had me come in right away for another ultrasound and sure enough I was still pregnant. My OB gave me a prescription for progesterone, and said that I was to take this the entire first trimester.
I'm telling you the first month after I found out I was pregnant was the most emotional roller coaster ride I have ever been on! It kept going on with me bleeding and going in to the dr, and everytime everything was fine.
They found that I had a blood clot that was over an inch long! and that was what was causing me to bleed so much. I was watched very carefully for a while, untill the bleeding finally stopped. I was on pelvic rest for a long time too.
So finally after a long scary ride, everything stared getting normal. But I couldn't relax untill we were able to hear the heartbeat. I've progressed to now I'm at 26 weeks! The baby is getting bigger and stronger. My stomach is getting huge!
We found out that we are having a baby girl, and E is so excited! He already is talking about how he and the baby are going to be best friends and do everything together! lol E also is making plans to have more! I don't know if we can, but if God decides to give us another one, I'm on board!! :)

So that was my crazy story, I'm sorry it's so long! I'm sure you all know by now that the tone of my blog has changed drastically. I don't want anyone to feel put out or feel that they can't follow me anymore. But I do have to move on. I still feel like I'm an infertile, b/c it wasn't easy for me to get pg, and I'm sure it won't be easy for it to happen again, if it even can. I don't feel that I am a part of the "normal" mothers. I'm kinda in the middle. I'm not going to stop remembering where I came from and ignore the rest of you who are still struggling. I am still praying for all of you and I hope that none of you lose hope. It is so easy to do, but you never know where the Lord will lead you.
I will be posting some pics soon, and will be doing alot of baby stuff on here. I understand if you feel you can't follow me anymore, but I hope you do.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I've had a Blogger Withdraw

Hey! So I'm sure I owe an explanation for my very long absence. But first I have to say Congrats to all of you who are now expecting or have had their babies! Wow I'm so super excited for all of you :)
Also I'm surprised at how many bloggers have gone private! So now I have no idea whats up with all of you. So if you've gone private and are following me, please contact me so I can continue to follow, if you'd like! Thanks :)

So..... Here we go, this is going to be a little long, so I'm pretty sure this will be in 2 posts.
After the whole Mothers Day fiasco, I just decided that I couldn't do this anymore. I was to depressed and upset all the time about everything baby related, that I just didn't want to see or hear any more good news. Also I just didn't want to hear about how many IFers out there were feeling the same way that I was. It made me even more depressed. I just wanted to forget all about IF and ignore everything that had to do with it.
Then our computer broke, so it was easy for me to just up and quit blogging. I thought about posting a goodbye post, but I just felt at the time I needed to go cold turkey. I was crying after Church b/c of all the new moms that were there. At the pool over the summer there was this woman who's daughter is friends with my neice, so we saw her every time we were there, but she was pregnant with her 3rd baby and not only was she super tiny and cute, she had this little baby bump showing off in her bikini, and always said "Oh, I'm just so excited to be pregnant again! I love being pregnant!" UGH!!! Gag me already... I couldn't stand it! I thought I was getting away from pregnant people and IF, but it kept popping up everywhere!
The summer wasn't all bad, Gabe finally got his First Holy Communion! He was so excited, and just glowed! We had a big party for him, and since he recieved his First Communion on July 3rd, we got to go to our community's fireworks that night. Gabe said that they were for him, b/c God was so happy that he finally got to recieve Him. :) I just love that kid! :)
By the end of the summer I was not thinking about IF at all. I kept praying every week, that I would be able to accept God's will for my life. If I were to be just a step-mom and Aunt, then so be it. I just wanted to be ok with my life. I prayed for peace, I prayed for patience. I still prayed to be able to have children, but only if it were God's will for me. I was finally getting to a good place, but I was still taking the Progesterone, and Estradial, and getting my blood checked all the time.
At my Dr's apt in July I told Dr M that I didn't want to do this anymore. It was to expensive to continue and I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep putting my body threw this. Dr M said that he would respect my decision, but said that he thought it was a good idea for me to continue taking the Progesterone. I could stop taking the other medication, and I didn't need to get my blood drawn anymore. But if I were to get pregnant my body would reject it if I weren't taking the Progesterone. So he suggested that I continue taking the P for a few more months, and if by then I wasn't pregnant, and we wanted to take a break, then we would stop all medication.
I agreed and thought that this was just a big waste of time and money. But he had a good point.
So July came and went and it was time for AF to show up, I was feeling wierd. I don't know how to explain it... I just knew something was going on with my body that wasn't normal for me. The day came in my cycle for AF to show up and I spotted that day. I told E that I thought I might be pg b/c I've never spotted before on the first day of my cylce, and I was just feeling wierd! He said he thought so to, and I should go test. But, I was not very optomistic and said that if I didn't have a "real" period in the next 2 days then I wasn't testing b/c it would be a waste of money on a pg test. The next day I had a full on period. Strangly enough I wasn't that upset. I thought well, I knew it, it couldn't happen to me.
But then things got strange for me. My period only lasted 2 days and completely stopped. Then 3 days later I started spotting again. I was so tired all the time, and my stomach hurt, almost like cramps but not so severe. I was spotting for 2 weeks and finally I called S the Creighton lady. The first thing she said was did I think I was pregnant? I said no way b/c I had had a period. It was strange but I had one. So she said she would bring a copy of my chart to Dr M and see what he thought, and would call me back in a day or two.

So, this is where I leave you for now. I've got so much more to tell you all! I promise I will be back!