Saturday, January 14, 2012

Part II

Yeah, I'm not really good with titles! sorry :) (Warning ahead.. Happy moment)
So, after I spoke to S, the Creighton lady, I just couldn't wait to hear back from Dr M. I knew something was wrong, my body just wasn't working right! I didn't want to wait, so I went to the store and bought a test. My very first test. I was scared, and E was at work, so I was alone. I thought it best that I was, so if it came back negative E wouldn't have to know.
So I brought the test home, I pos, and after a few minutes 2 very very faint lines showed up. I wasn't sure what to feel, I could see 2 lines, but they weren't very bright, so I was afraid that I just was wishing them into existence. I studied that test for 5 min before I sent a picture of the test to my sister and asked what she thought. She of course freaked out and was so excited, but I was still very skeptical. She said that if I wanted to I could wait till the next morning to re-test b/c that is supposed to be the best time to take the test.
By this time, I am feeling so frustrated and scared and nurvouse! I didn't know what to do. I said F it! I'm going to re-test now! And sure enought the next test came back with 2 lines, still not super bright, but there was no mistaking it!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finally, finally, finally! I couldn't believe it! I was so happy, I sent the picture of the test to E right away! :) I had always had a plan in my mind how I would tell him, you know, a romatic dinner or something like that.. lol but I just couldn't keep it in! Never did I think that this could be possible. I was so positive that I would never ever have the chance to get pg, that I was still in shock.
I knew that I needed to call Dr M right away. He always said the moment I find out I'm pg I need to call him. So I did. Do you know what the first thing he said to me was?? "so, what your telling me, is that the period you had wasn't a true period?" Seriously?? what's up with this guy?
I said that well... since I came up with a positive test, I'm assuming that it wasn't a true period, b/c there is no way I'd get a positive test after 2 weeks! duh! Well Dr M wasn't super happy, he was concerned about the bleeding that I was having and that it was so much for so long. Then when I told him about the pain that I kept having, almost like period pains, but not quite, he started freaking out! He said that he was positive that I was having an ectopic pregnancy and that I needed to get to the ER imediatley! He told me that he almost had a patient die b/c they didn't get checked out soon enough. OMG!!!! What the heck was this guy talking about!? So my happy moment imediatley was gone, and I started sobbing. Why would this happen?
How could I go from being pregnant one moment and not knowing if it was real or going to last the next?
E was at work, I didn't think that I could get myself to the hospital at this point,b/c I was so worked up. I called my mom on her cell and I could hardly get out what was going on. She said to wait and she would be over to pick me up as soon as possible! I later found out that she was 30 min away at a store and she left her cart in the isle and sped the whole way to get me! (I love my mom) I sent a text to E telling him that I called Dr M and had to go to the hospital and my mom was taking me.
E called me right away and told me to wait, b/c he had left work early to come home to celebrate with me and was almost home.
I couldn't stop crying. Why was this happening to me? The one time I decide to finally test, and this happens.
So we get to the hospital, and the receptionist? nurse, was not very nice. I told her what was going on, that my Dr sent me there, and I needed an ultrasound right away. Well... heaven forbid someone comes in at 3:30 in the afternoon! The ultrasound tech's go home at 4 and she wasn't sure if they could get me in, but if it's an emergency maybe they could. Then she goes and checks that dumb chart telling me when my due date was!!! Wow, could you get anymore insensitive? I just told you that my Dr thinks I have an ectopic pregnancy and your going to tell me when my due date is?! My mom was po'd!
She almost told her off!
After waiting what seemed like forever, they finally got me in, and I had to go by myself first. The Dr came in and talked to me for a while and then decided that I was eligable for an ultrasound. I guess for an emergency ultrasound you have to be bleeding and in pain. Since I had both, I qualified. So I'm all by myself being wheeled up to the ultrasound room, I have no idea what they are going to find. I'm so scared, and praying the whole time. They do the ultrasound, and the tech shows me what's going on.
NOT an ectopic pregnancy! She showed me this tiny little bubble called a sac (I didn't know anything about this!) and that is where the baby is, it was in the right place and everything looked normal!
Wow, what a relief!! I started crying and they wheeled me back to my room. The nurse talked to me for a bit, and then brought in my mom and E. They both looked so pale and scared, and there I was sitting on the hospital bed with a huge grin on my face!! I told them that everything was perfect! I was still pregnant! E, who doesn't cry at all!, got all misty eyed and I have never seen him so happy! My mom of course started crying! I bet we were a sight to see! :)
The Dr came back in, and I had to get blood tests done, and she let me know that they were considering me at risk for a miscarriage. I needed to go to my OB in 2 days and I needed to come back to the hospital for another round of blood tests. They needed to check my hormone levels to make sure that the pregnancy was progressing.
So that was a relief! E and I spent the night celebrating this little miracle!
Well, I called Dr M the next day, and he was still skeptical! He said to come in right away so he could check my progesterone levels. So, more blood work done, and the next day I was on my way back to the hospital for even more bloodwork, and I get a call from Dr M.
"I'm sorry" he say's "your progesterone levels are just too low for you to still be pregnant. I'm sorry to tell you that I believe you have miscarried"
WHat?! So now I'm in the car driving to the hospital, sobbing my eyes out. Dr M said to still get the bloodwork done b/c if my pregnancy hormone levels were rising and my progesterone levels were so low, that could be very bad for me. So omg I'm freaking out. I called off work for the next few days b/c I just couldn't stop crying! How had I miscarried already? I just couldn't believe it.
When E got home from work, I told him what happened, and we both were so upset, but he said that at least we know now that I can get pregnant, and if we lost the baby, then we have at least one in Heaven watching over us. Well, that made me cry even more!
The next day I had to go to the OB. They had all my test results from the hospital and my pregancy hormones were rising. That freaked me out b/c of what Dr M had told me. Then the OB did an ultrasound and everything was fine! I was still pregnant! So I called Dr M and he said to come in right away for a shot of progesterone.
I don't know how many of you have had a shot of progesterone, but it hurts!! I couldn't sit on my right cheek for 2 whole day's! lol It was really aweful, and E kept making fun of me!
Well, that was on a Friday that I got the shot, and on Monday I woke up to blood everywhere. It looked like I had been murdered overnight. I started freaking out sobbing and crying, I called the OB and they had me come in right away for another ultrasound and sure enough I was still pregnant. My OB gave me a prescription for progesterone, and said that I was to take this the entire first trimester.
I'm telling you the first month after I found out I was pregnant was the most emotional roller coaster ride I have ever been on! It kept going on with me bleeding and going in to the dr, and everytime everything was fine.
They found that I had a blood clot that was over an inch long! and that was what was causing me to bleed so much. I was watched very carefully for a while, untill the bleeding finally stopped. I was on pelvic rest for a long time too.
So finally after a long scary ride, everything stared getting normal. But I couldn't relax untill we were able to hear the heartbeat. I've progressed to now I'm at 26 weeks! The baby is getting bigger and stronger. My stomach is getting huge!
We found out that we are having a baby girl, and E is so excited! He already is talking about how he and the baby are going to be best friends and do everything together! lol E also is making plans to have more! I don't know if we can, but if God decides to give us another one, I'm on board!! :)

So that was my crazy story, I'm sorry it's so long! I'm sure you all know by now that the tone of my blog has changed drastically. I don't want anyone to feel put out or feel that they can't follow me anymore. But I do have to move on. I still feel like I'm an infertile, b/c it wasn't easy for me to get pg, and I'm sure it won't be easy for it to happen again, if it even can. I don't feel that I am a part of the "normal" mothers. I'm kinda in the middle. I'm not going to stop remembering where I came from and ignore the rest of you who are still struggling. I am still praying for all of you and I hope that none of you lose hope. It is so easy to do, but you never know where the Lord will lead you.
I will be posting some pics soon, and will be doing alot of baby stuff on here. I understand if you feel you can't follow me anymore, but I hope you do.

10 comments:

aka the Mom said...

Congratulations! I'm not much of a crier, but like your E. I'm all misty eyed. Hopefully your roller coaster ride is over and the next 14 weeks are smooth and boring.

jmjchasingjoy said...

Praise God! Congratulations!

JellyBelly said...

Great news! Congratulations!

Hebrews 11:1 said...

Oh my gosh! Congrats!! Sorry that it was such a turbulent beginning, how stressful!! And yes, I can relate on the progesterone shots. I am still on 100 mg twice a week and they are not what I'd describe as fun. :) SO SO excited about your little girl!

ALIVEINHOPE said...

Congratulations!!

I definitely won't stop following... SOOOOO happy for you! :)

"All in His Perfect Timing" said...

Wonderful, wonderful news! But SUCH a horrible first month, I'll agree to that!
I hope the progesterone shots go better for you. Is a nurse giving them, or your hubby?

Suzie-Q T-Pie said...

Thank you all for your support! :)
I only had to take the progestrone shot once thankfully, after that I had the pills that I had to take vaginally. that was gross but not painfull!

Donna said...

Awesome! Congratulations & God Bless!

Being Refined said...

Congratulations!!!

St. Rita's Roses said...

WHAT THE!!! I CANT BELIEVE YOU WERE HOLDIN OUT ON US!!! I understand though....Congrats!!!!! YAYAYAYY!!!!