Thursday, July 26, 2012

St Anne and St Joachim

I've been doing a Novena this past week and this was the prayer for today, I thought I should share :)

Thursday, July 26
, St. Joachim and St. Anne

For all those who bear the cross of infertility

Lord, God, thank you for the gift of life and for the gift of children. This very day we ask you for a special blessing and healing upon all those couples who so desire the gift of a child and wait patiently for Your timing. Grant them the supernatural gifts of hope, trust and patience in Your Divine Providence. Guide all who labor and research to help infertile couples to your Divine Wisdom and to follow the natural law and moral order that you have established. Give all who struggle with this pain complete resignation to Your Divine Will. Bless and strengthen those families who have adopted a child or who serve as foster parents. Help all couples who struggle with infertility to remain chaste and pure. And grant them the grace to drink joyfully from this bitter cup, offering up their pain and agony for the salvation of souls. Dear St. Joachim and St. Anne, you, too, knew the sorrow of being childless. Intercede for these couples that God, too, inHis perfect time and way may grant to them the precious and eternal gift of a child. Holy Spirit breathe the fire of your love into the hearts, minds and souls of all couples who yearn for a child that they may be forever blessed with such a precious gift, done all in accord with Your Most Holy Will. Amen.

One Our Father, One Hail Mary, One Glory Be.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Working Mama?

I always thought that I would be a stay at home mom. How much fun to stay home to just take care of your little one, and do awesome things like going to the park,zoo, bookstore,coffee shop, hairdresser? Those were my big dreams :) I know kinda silly, but I have been so excited to do all of those things with my baby. The problem is, Gemma is a BABY!!! lol she can't do any of those things yet! She is also a very demanding baby. She yells a lot when she's tired or your not paying enough attention to her, or she's hungry or mad, or pretty much all the time. No it's not colic. We thought maybe it was at first, but according to our pediatrition she's happy to often for it to have been colic. But that's way off topic here... sorry, it's late and this is the only time I have to get on the computer! (Besides FB where my I can just "like" everything and post pics from my phone)
     I had planned on staying home with Gemma. But life is funny like that and changes things on ya. We weren't doing well financially with E being in this new job he is only in training till Aug, and get's not nearly as much pay as he will get once he's out of the training. So.... me taking off work for maternity leave really put us behind. I had originally decided to take 8 weeks and see how we did financially and if we were ok, I would stay home. But with Gemma's surgury and her after care, I ended up taking 11 weeks. And I had to go back. We crunched numbers and got rid of anything that we could of, but still we needed me to go back to work.
Now I only work part time at this job, so I'm not bringing in much $ but enough to pay for grocery's at least. My first day back to work, I almost didn't make it. I was so nervous about leaving Gemma and was wondering how she was all day. It was terrible. I cried! But of course Gemma was ok. My sister is watching her, so I was comfortable with the idea of a family member watching her. But still.... it was hard. But as the weeks have gone by, I've really enjoyed getting out of the house, and relaxing at work 2 days a week! Really I can relax at work! lol No I don't have a super relaxing job, but not having a baby attached to you all day once in a while is kinda nice. Is that horrible of me to think that? I get 8 hours twice a week to be me. I can listen to loud music in the car, I can have a quiet car ride if I want to! It's just kinda nice.
    But, the second day that I'm at work, I'm ready to go back home. It's to much being away from Gemma for all that time. Even though I enjoy my me time, I need to be with her. I also enjoy being able to bring in a little of my own money. I am not at all a feminist in the least, but being able to say that I can buy my own things with my own money is so empowering. And I hate that word! lol But it is! I never realised it untill now, when I'm not brining in much at all. I've always worked, and untill this job, I've always worked full time.
      So here is my dilema. My sister is watching Gemma. She is in college, and has the summer off. She is going back to school next month and is not sure if she can continue watching Gemma or not. I have the option at work to cut my hours even more if I want to. I also have the option of staying home, b/c E will be making more $ by then. E wants me to stay home with Gemma. I want to stay home, but I also feel that my emotional health is requiring me to work at least one half day! But of course what a waste of gass money that would be. I could spend that money on a Caramel Mocha instead!
     So I'm not sure if I want to find someone to watch Gemma so I can still work, or if I'm just going to stay home with her and hopefully get out of the house sometimes. Are any of you with babies still working? what do you all think about this? I think I know what I'm going to do, but I hate making such a decision.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Baby Gemma Pics :)

Here is Gemma the day after she was born :)
Gemma at 3 weeks, we had some pictures done.
This is me and Gemma on Mothers Day while she was in the hospital after her surgery.
And here is Gemma and her "boys" at 3 months :) She just has them wrapped around her little fingers!

Friday, July 13, 2012

Yes I did have my baby!

Wellllll... lot's have changed around here, not sure about this new blog look that's going on. Of course not sure how long ago it changed b/c I havn't been on here in a very very long time. But for those of you that are still interested, I did have my baby girl! lol She was born 2 weeks early on April 2nd. The laast few weeks of my pregnancy were really hard on me. Actually the entire pregnancy was hard on me. I was just wiped out the entire time! My stomach was huge! That's really the main place that I gained weight, my amniotic fluid was at the high end but not dangerous. I had gotten to the point where I could no longer drive b/c it hurt to sit in the car, btw we had a lovely little sports car that we had to get rid of, so sad, but worth it :) Sunday April 1'st I couldn't even get up to go to Mass, I just felt horrible. That night my sister made me come over to her house for dinner b/c E was out of town for work, her husband made a delicious chicken that I could barely eat. We joke that it was the chicken that made me go into labor~ ! lol I went home after, I realized there was something dripping down my leg. I thought I peed myself untill I looked down and saw blood. I started at that point to freak out!! I still hadn't realized what was going on, but knew that blood was one of those things the Dr's told me to call them for. Then I reached to gather my nightgown and realized it was soaking wet. I was pretty sure my water had broke, but never having had this happen before, I wasn't positive. I was crying and freaking out, b/c I was alone first of all, and second I didn't have anything ready! I changed my clothes and text my sister who lives down the street to call me asap. I tried to remember everything I read about what to put in your hospital bag and shoved everything in! I was going to get everything ready that week b/c I still had 2 more weeks! My sister called me back said to call the hospital and she would be right over.. I was kinda still thinking "what if this is a false alarm?" you know you see that all the time in the movies. So I called the hospital, they wanted to know who my primary doc was and would have the doc on call, call me. Well, I'm waiting for my phone to ring, I'm crying and txt E that I was going to the hospital b/c my water broke. Then the Doc calls me, and I wasn't sure what was going on, but I couldn't hear him at all! I thought my phone was messed up but finally was able to hear him. It just happend to be my doc! thank goodness, I said Doc it's me my water broke! he say's "who is this?" omg, I have to repeat myself 3 times, and finally he says oh, ok well get to the hospital. wow. I find out later that he was sleeping at that time and the nurses said he is always out of it like that when he gets those calls. He also later apologized for being so groggy. My sister gets me to the hospital, my husband calls me and tells me he is on his way. I'm not feeling anything but the water drip down my legs. Let me tell you something, having your water break is GROSS!!!! really it is. How come no one tells you things like that? Actually the entire time I was in the hospital I felt gross. I wasn't having contractions, so they put me on the pitosin (which I did not want to have, but felt forced into) and I held out as long as I could to get the epi. I was a crying mess once the contractions started gaining force. But E got there and was amazing with me. He let me do what I needed to get threw the pain, and prayed with me and held my hand the entire time. So at 6:32 pm my little Gemma was born! We did have some problems right away though. Gemma was born with an imperforate anus, and the hospital we were at wasn't prepped for this kind of thing, so they imediatley took her away from me and had her transported to the local children's hospital. Neither E or I could go with her that night, and were told that she wouldn't be seen untill the morning, so there was nothing we could do. They just wanted her put on IV's right away b/c if she didn't have the hole to poo out of I couldn't feed her. What we found out was that her body did compensate for the anus not forming, by creating a fistula right above her anus so she could go poo. She was in the hospital for 3 days. I wasn't alowed to leave my hospital untill 9am the morning after I had her. Let me tell you how awefull it is to be going through all this emotional crap, and not having a moment to rest and realax after the ordeal of giving birth! I was on pain meds b/c I had a tear, and my hormones were just out of controll. I couldn't hold my baby and wasn't sure at first what the heck was going on. Luckily Gemma had a "mild" version of this malformation, so it could have been a lot worse. When she was 5 weeks old Gemma had surgury to recreate her anus. She had the muscles and her intenstines were in the right place, so the surgury went quickly and easily. Well, easily for the surgeons. That was an ordeal that I wouldn't wish upon anyone. Gemma wasn't alowed to eat from noon the day before her surgury untill 5 days after! The day before after I fed her the last time, they put her on an IV that basically was a laxitive, b/c she needed to be completely cleaned out for the surgery. She cried and cried untill she couldn't cry anymore. She was dehydrated and so sad, I couldn't stop crying myself. For the next 5 days we lived at the hospital. She was put on fluids and then they added fats to her IV's so she didn't lose any weight. It was the worst week of my life. my poor little baby had to go through so much in her short little life. But she is now healed up completely and we just have to keep making sure that the hole doesn't scar over, and as long as she is pooping every day, we don't have to worry about anything. Gemma is now a happy little 3 month old, who is smiling and laughing almost all the time. Except when she has gas or is tired! lol So. that's my story. I'm trying to get back on here, but some day's it's hard to even check FB! I'm slowly getting caught up on everyone's blogs, sorry I've been away...