Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Dr update

Well, the Dr's went ok. Not much going on. The new Dr G. asked me a ton of questions and checked me out, and decided to run a whole new batch of blood tests on me. Awesome. So 4 vials of blood later, I'm still waiting to hear back the results. She is checking all the thyroid hormones, and my vit D and some other things, that I'm not sure of. One thing that I did find out was that I have carpel tunnel. How great is that? I work with money and computers and my hands keep cramping up so bad I feel like crying sometimes. At night my hands go numb, and that sucks. But apparently this will go away after the baby is born.
And speaking of baby, she should be fine! There is nothing for me to worry about with her, even though my numbers are low right now. Dr G said that the only reason to worry is if she wasn't moving around a lot, and wasn't growing properly, or if my blood pressure was high and I was having other complications. So that was a relief!! I was pretty worried about the thyroid effecting the growth of my baby, but so far so good. :)

Oh btw did anyone else catch the March for Life on EWTN? I was so mad that I couldn't go this year, I really wanted E to have that experience. But The coverage was great. :)

Thursday, January 19, 2012

My thyroid hates me...

I hate my thyroid, and my thyroid hates me! I had finally gotten the whole thyroid thingy under control right before I got pregnant. My numbers were great, I was just taking the Levothyroxin 75mcg. After a few months my OB checked my numbers and it was a little low, but nothing to be concerned about. It's normal for your thyroid to change when your pregnant, so no concerns. He changed my medication to 100mcg. Well, we had it checked again and now my numbers are very very low, to the point where my OB is concerned enough to send me to a specialist.
I was seeing a specialist in NV, but since we moved I was just seeing my regular Dr M. He's an idiot, so I didn't want to stay with him. My OB isn't concerned about the baby, but he doesn't know why my numbers are so low. My T4 is fine, but my T3 is low. He's just an OB so I'm not sure what this means and how much I should be worried. He told me to continue on the medication I'm on now and see what the specialist says.
I can't get in to see the specialist until Tuesday! I really don't want to wait that long. I've been doing a lot of reading on the subject of my thyroid and pregnancy, and it seems that everything should be ok for the baby. After 10 weeks the baby starts making her own thyroid hormones, but still relies on mine. It's normal for your thyroid to change, and from what I've read if you are supplementing your thyroid then even if it's not right on track the baby won't suffer. It's only a problem if you have an undiagnosed thyroid problem.
But still, I'm worried. Like I need anymore to worry about! ARGH!!! So, any prayers would be great that everything works out, and the baby is fine.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Pictures!

This is me in the hospital, the day we found out I was pregnant!


This is Thanksgiving, starting to show the chub! lol

And this is me today almost 27 weeks~ !

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Part II

Yeah, I'm not really good with titles! sorry :) (Warning ahead.. Happy moment)
So, after I spoke to S, the Creighton lady, I just couldn't wait to hear back from Dr M. I knew something was wrong, my body just wasn't working right! I didn't want to wait, so I went to the store and bought a test. My very first test. I was scared, and E was at work, so I was alone. I thought it best that I was, so if it came back negative E wouldn't have to know.
So I brought the test home, I pos, and after a few minutes 2 very very faint lines showed up. I wasn't sure what to feel, I could see 2 lines, but they weren't very bright, so I was afraid that I just was wishing them into existence. I studied that test for 5 min before I sent a picture of the test to my sister and asked what she thought. She of course freaked out and was so excited, but I was still very skeptical. She said that if I wanted to I could wait till the next morning to re-test b/c that is supposed to be the best time to take the test.
By this time, I am feeling so frustrated and scared and nurvouse! I didn't know what to do. I said F it! I'm going to re-test now! And sure enought the next test came back with 2 lines, still not super bright, but there was no mistaking it!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finally, finally, finally! I couldn't believe it! I was so happy, I sent the picture of the test to E right away! :) I had always had a plan in my mind how I would tell him, you know, a romatic dinner or something like that.. lol but I just couldn't keep it in! Never did I think that this could be possible. I was so positive that I would never ever have the chance to get pg, that I was still in shock.
I knew that I needed to call Dr M right away. He always said the moment I find out I'm pg I need to call him. So I did. Do you know what the first thing he said to me was?? "so, what your telling me, is that the period you had wasn't a true period?" Seriously?? what's up with this guy?
I said that well... since I came up with a positive test, I'm assuming that it wasn't a true period, b/c there is no way I'd get a positive test after 2 weeks! duh! Well Dr M wasn't super happy, he was concerned about the bleeding that I was having and that it was so much for so long. Then when I told him about the pain that I kept having, almost like period pains, but not quite, he started freaking out! He said that he was positive that I was having an ectopic pregnancy and that I needed to get to the ER imediatley! He told me that he almost had a patient die b/c they didn't get checked out soon enough. OMG!!!! What the heck was this guy talking about!? So my happy moment imediatley was gone, and I started sobbing. Why would this happen?
How could I go from being pregnant one moment and not knowing if it was real or going to last the next?
E was at work, I didn't think that I could get myself to the hospital at this point,b/c I was so worked up. I called my mom on her cell and I could hardly get out what was going on. She said to wait and she would be over to pick me up as soon as possible! I later found out that she was 30 min away at a store and she left her cart in the isle and sped the whole way to get me! (I love my mom) I sent a text to E telling him that I called Dr M and had to go to the hospital and my mom was taking me.
E called me right away and told me to wait, b/c he had left work early to come home to celebrate with me and was almost home.
I couldn't stop crying. Why was this happening to me? The one time I decide to finally test, and this happens.
So we get to the hospital, and the receptionist? nurse, was not very nice. I told her what was going on, that my Dr sent me there, and I needed an ultrasound right away. Well... heaven forbid someone comes in at 3:30 in the afternoon! The ultrasound tech's go home at 4 and she wasn't sure if they could get me in, but if it's an emergency maybe they could. Then she goes and checks that dumb chart telling me when my due date was!!! Wow, could you get anymore insensitive? I just told you that my Dr thinks I have an ectopic pregnancy and your going to tell me when my due date is?! My mom was po'd!
She almost told her off!
After waiting what seemed like forever, they finally got me in, and I had to go by myself first. The Dr came in and talked to me for a while and then decided that I was eligable for an ultrasound. I guess for an emergency ultrasound you have to be bleeding and in pain. Since I had both, I qualified. So I'm all by myself being wheeled up to the ultrasound room, I have no idea what they are going to find. I'm so scared, and praying the whole time. They do the ultrasound, and the tech shows me what's going on.
NOT an ectopic pregnancy! She showed me this tiny little bubble called a sac (I didn't know anything about this!) and that is where the baby is, it was in the right place and everything looked normal!
Wow, what a relief!! I started crying and they wheeled me back to my room. The nurse talked to me for a bit, and then brought in my mom and E. They both looked so pale and scared, and there I was sitting on the hospital bed with a huge grin on my face!! I told them that everything was perfect! I was still pregnant! E, who doesn't cry at all!, got all misty eyed and I have never seen him so happy! My mom of course started crying! I bet we were a sight to see! :)
The Dr came back in, and I had to get blood tests done, and she let me know that they were considering me at risk for a miscarriage. I needed to go to my OB in 2 days and I needed to come back to the hospital for another round of blood tests. They needed to check my hormone levels to make sure that the pregnancy was progressing.
So that was a relief! E and I spent the night celebrating this little miracle!
Well, I called Dr M the next day, and he was still skeptical! He said to come in right away so he could check my progesterone levels. So, more blood work done, and the next day I was on my way back to the hospital for even more bloodwork, and I get a call from Dr M.
"I'm sorry" he say's "your progesterone levels are just too low for you to still be pregnant. I'm sorry to tell you that I believe you have miscarried"
WHat?! So now I'm in the car driving to the hospital, sobbing my eyes out. Dr M said to still get the bloodwork done b/c if my pregnancy hormone levels were rising and my progesterone levels were so low, that could be very bad for me. So omg I'm freaking out. I called off work for the next few days b/c I just couldn't stop crying! How had I miscarried already? I just couldn't believe it.
When E got home from work, I told him what happened, and we both were so upset, but he said that at least we know now that I can get pregnant, and if we lost the baby, then we have at least one in Heaven watching over us. Well, that made me cry even more!
The next day I had to go to the OB. They had all my test results from the hospital and my pregancy hormones were rising. That freaked me out b/c of what Dr M had told me. Then the OB did an ultrasound and everything was fine! I was still pregnant! So I called Dr M and he said to come in right away for a shot of progesterone.
I don't know how many of you have had a shot of progesterone, but it hurts!! I couldn't sit on my right cheek for 2 whole day's! lol It was really aweful, and E kept making fun of me!
Well, that was on a Friday that I got the shot, and on Monday I woke up to blood everywhere. It looked like I had been murdered overnight. I started freaking out sobbing and crying, I called the OB and they had me come in right away for another ultrasound and sure enough I was still pregnant. My OB gave me a prescription for progesterone, and said that I was to take this the entire first trimester.
I'm telling you the first month after I found out I was pregnant was the most emotional roller coaster ride I have ever been on! It kept going on with me bleeding and going in to the dr, and everytime everything was fine.
They found that I had a blood clot that was over an inch long! and that was what was causing me to bleed so much. I was watched very carefully for a while, untill the bleeding finally stopped. I was on pelvic rest for a long time too.
So finally after a long scary ride, everything stared getting normal. But I couldn't relax untill we were able to hear the heartbeat. I've progressed to now I'm at 26 weeks! The baby is getting bigger and stronger. My stomach is getting huge!
We found out that we are having a baby girl, and E is so excited! He already is talking about how he and the baby are going to be best friends and do everything together! lol E also is making plans to have more! I don't know if we can, but if God decides to give us another one, I'm on board!! :)

So that was my crazy story, I'm sorry it's so long! I'm sure you all know by now that the tone of my blog has changed drastically. I don't want anyone to feel put out or feel that they can't follow me anymore. But I do have to move on. I still feel like I'm an infertile, b/c it wasn't easy for me to get pg, and I'm sure it won't be easy for it to happen again, if it even can. I don't feel that I am a part of the "normal" mothers. I'm kinda in the middle. I'm not going to stop remembering where I came from and ignore the rest of you who are still struggling. I am still praying for all of you and I hope that none of you lose hope. It is so easy to do, but you never know where the Lord will lead you.
I will be posting some pics soon, and will be doing alot of baby stuff on here. I understand if you feel you can't follow me anymore, but I hope you do.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I've had a Blogger Withdraw

Hey! So I'm sure I owe an explanation for my very long absence. But first I have to say Congrats to all of you who are now expecting or have had their babies! Wow I'm so super excited for all of you :)
Also I'm surprised at how many bloggers have gone private! So now I have no idea whats up with all of you. So if you've gone private and are following me, please contact me so I can continue to follow, if you'd like! Thanks :)

So..... Here we go, this is going to be a little long, so I'm pretty sure this will be in 2 posts.
After the whole Mothers Day fiasco, I just decided that I couldn't do this anymore. I was to depressed and upset all the time about everything baby related, that I just didn't want to see or hear any more good news. Also I just didn't want to hear about how many IFers out there were feeling the same way that I was. It made me even more depressed. I just wanted to forget all about IF and ignore everything that had to do with it.
Then our computer broke, so it was easy for me to just up and quit blogging. I thought about posting a goodbye post, but I just felt at the time I needed to go cold turkey. I was crying after Church b/c of all the new moms that were there. At the pool over the summer there was this woman who's daughter is friends with my neice, so we saw her every time we were there, but she was pregnant with her 3rd baby and not only was she super tiny and cute, she had this little baby bump showing off in her bikini, and always said "Oh, I'm just so excited to be pregnant again! I love being pregnant!" UGH!!! Gag me already... I couldn't stand it! I thought I was getting away from pregnant people and IF, but it kept popping up everywhere!
The summer wasn't all bad, Gabe finally got his First Holy Communion! He was so excited, and just glowed! We had a big party for him, and since he recieved his First Communion on July 3rd, we got to go to our community's fireworks that night. Gabe said that they were for him, b/c God was so happy that he finally got to recieve Him. :) I just love that kid! :)
By the end of the summer I was not thinking about IF at all. I kept praying every week, that I would be able to accept God's will for my life. If I were to be just a step-mom and Aunt, then so be it. I just wanted to be ok with my life. I prayed for peace, I prayed for patience. I still prayed to be able to have children, but only if it were God's will for me. I was finally getting to a good place, but I was still taking the Progesterone, and Estradial, and getting my blood checked all the time.
At my Dr's apt in July I told Dr M that I didn't want to do this anymore. It was to expensive to continue and I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep putting my body threw this. Dr M said that he would respect my decision, but said that he thought it was a good idea for me to continue taking the Progesterone. I could stop taking the other medication, and I didn't need to get my blood drawn anymore. But if I were to get pregnant my body would reject it if I weren't taking the Progesterone. So he suggested that I continue taking the P for a few more months, and if by then I wasn't pregnant, and we wanted to take a break, then we would stop all medication.
I agreed and thought that this was just a big waste of time and money. But he had a good point.
So July came and went and it was time for AF to show up, I was feeling wierd. I don't know how to explain it... I just knew something was going on with my body that wasn't normal for me. The day came in my cycle for AF to show up and I spotted that day. I told E that I thought I might be pg b/c I've never spotted before on the first day of my cylce, and I was just feeling wierd! He said he thought so to, and I should go test. But, I was not very optomistic and said that if I didn't have a "real" period in the next 2 days then I wasn't testing b/c it would be a waste of money on a pg test. The next day I had a full on period. Strangly enough I wasn't that upset. I thought well, I knew it, it couldn't happen to me.
But then things got strange for me. My period only lasted 2 days and completely stopped. Then 3 days later I started spotting again. I was so tired all the time, and my stomach hurt, almost like cramps but not so severe. I was spotting for 2 weeks and finally I called S the Creighton lady. The first thing she said was did I think I was pregnant? I said no way b/c I had had a period. It was strange but I had one. So she said she would bring a copy of my chart to Dr M and see what he thought, and would call me back in a day or two.

So, this is where I leave you for now. I've got so much more to tell you all! I promise I will be back!